Moments of Excellence - SKIN CARE

Ladies (and gents), here are a few tips that I've found work wonders on keeping even the driest of skin moist and soft!

1. Don't Dry Off - After you take your bath or shower, don't try off. Instead, while your body is still wet, apply your favorite moisturizing lotion. You'll find that your skin will be softer and you'll even use less lotion.
2. Pat Your Hands - Instead of wiping your hands dry after washing them, pat them gently with a hand towel. This will allow for some of the moisture to remain on your hands, making them feel softer.
3. Mix It Up - Some body creams and lotions are actually made up of mostly water, so they evaporate quickly once applied to the skin. Mix your favorite cream or lotion with oil for longer lasting effects. Any oil will work just about. I prefer EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) because of its purity and I like the scent! :) Vitamin E oil is another great one to use.
4. Exfoliate - One of the best secrets I've found when it comes to creating soft and beautiful skin is that of the sugar or salt scrub! A handful, when used in a hot shower, will remove that layer of dead, dry skin and leave your entire body feeling baby smooth. Be careful though, it does make the shower floor very slippery. Most times, you won't even need to use lotion or oil afterward, especially if you air-dry.
5. Stay Hydrated - Last, but definitely not least! Drink between 4-6, 8 oz. glasses of water a day! Your body is made up of 70% water. The more active you are, the more water your body loses. Dehydration affects every single part of your physiology and even your psychology. Did you know that a bad mood may be caused by dehydration? Yes, so if being dehydrated affects your mood, you KNOW it can affect your skin! Don't like water? Add flavor to it with fruit or even zero-calorie Crystal Light.

I hope these tips help you. As I enter my mid-thirties, I'm paying more attention to my skin and how it's changing. These are the things I do to keep my skin soft. Leave a comment if you have additional tips!

Softly,

D~

Moments of Excellence - TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

8 Toxic Personalities to Avoid
by: Brett Blumenthal - Sheer Balance

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.

Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

• Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

• Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

• Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

• Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

• Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

• Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

• Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

• Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
  Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common:

1. the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.
2. Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.
3. Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

Moments of Excellence - DINING ETIQUETTE (Pt. 2)

TABLE COMPORTMENT

SEATING/PLACEMENT
Depending on the formality of the event, there may or may not be place cards on the table. The home is the woman’s domain, and the hostess will point all guests to their appropriate seats. The proper protocol is for the hostess to sit at the end of the table closest to the kitchen. If she is married, her husband, the host, sits at the opposite end. The male guest of honor sits to the right of the hostess and he sits her. The female guest of honor sits to the right of the host and is seated by him.

No one sits down until the hostess sits down. Proper etiquette is for the man to seat the woman to his right by pulling her chair out. If he is surrounded by two women, he first helps the woman to his right and then the woman to his immediate left. Women should wait for this gesture on the part of the men.

NAPKINS
When the hostess opens her napkin, the guests follow suit.

EATING/GESTURING
Never begin eating until all toasting has concluded and the hostess begins to eat. Also, it is important to wait until everyone is served before beginning to eat. The only exception is if the hostess tells you to begin because your food will get cold while the others wait to be served.

You must, during the course of the dinner, speak to the two people on either side of you in addition to the rest of the group. Please refrain from any and all unusual sounds that one may make unconsciously while drinking and/or chewing, including inadvertently clanking on the plate with your implements. Hands should be kept away from the face and from touching or twisting the hair. Your elbows should always be off the table.

If during the course of the meal you need to excuse yourself to go to the restroom, gently take your napkin and fold it loosely on the left side of your plate or place it on your chair. Push your chair under the table until you return. The man seated next to a woman should get up out of deference when she leaves the table and again when she returns.

AFTER DINNER
At the conclusion of the meal, the hostess will rest her napkin on the table to her left. This is a sign for all the guests that the meal is over. Never push the plate away from you when you are finished eating. Once the hostess gestures to get up, everyone else seated at the table must do the same. Get up from the table and push the chair under the table.

After an appropriate amount of time has passed (this will vary from situation to situation), look to the other guests and the hosts for a natural conclusion to the evening so you do not wear out your welcome. Say your goodbyes and express your gratitude as you depart.

THANK YOU NOTES
Send a ‘thank you’ note within 48 hours. At the very least, call your hostess to say thank you.

Moments of Excellence - DINING ETIQUETTE (Pt. 1)

A sophisticated woman should be fully versed in the details of formal dining and comportment. It is one thing to know how to hold a knife and fork, but it is quite another to know how to feel comfortable in a social setting where dining is but one of several things you will be expected to do. You will learn the proper way to act and handle the intricacies of formal dining and social etiquette. You are visually shown how to set a table, what implements and crystal to use according to course, and how to interact in social situations.

GUEST ETIQUETTE

RSVP
Always RSVP. It is very important to always answer a request for reply whether or not you will be attending an event. Only bring guests if you have cleared it with your host or hostess.

THE DRESS CODE
If you are not sure of the dress code, ask when you RSVP. Nothing can make a woman feel more self-conscious than showing up under dressed or overdressed. If you are unsure and cannot reach the host, it is always better to be under dressed than overdressed.

ARRIVE ON TIME
It is very disrespectful to arrive late to a dinner party. Arrive within 10 minutes of the appointed time. Call your host if you are going to arrive late. If you are invited to an informal party, then you have more flexibility in your arrival time.

THE HOUSE GIFT
When invited to dinner at someone’s house, bring a small gift as a gesture, such as a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of champagne or wine. If the event is more formal, one may want to take a small token with special significance to the host or hostess.

INTRODUCTIONS
Look the other person straight in the eye and give them a warm and sincere "hello." Nothing says more to your audience that you are interested in them and are looking forward to engaging them in conversation. Use first names and the familiar "hello" in a casual setting or if you are of similar age to the person being introduced. In a more formal setting, or when being introduced to an older person, use Mr., Ms. or Mrs. X followed by "How do you do?"

When you do not know, or have simply forgotten someone’s name, and you are in the company of another person where an introduction is required, turn to the person you are with and introduce him or her by name to the person whose name you have forgotten. "I would like to introduce you to my cousin Susanne Major." The likelihood is that the person whose name you have forgotten will turn around and greet the person you are with by saying his or her own name and relieving you of an embarrassing situation. "Hi Susanne, I am Marjorie Scott." The conversation can now proceed comfortably among all parties.

THE HANDSHAKE OR THE SOCIAL KISS
In the United States, handshakes are used. A handshake conveys a great deal about you. An overly firm grip is aggressive and unfeminine. A faint handshake conveys general weakness. Firmly, but gently, take complete hold of the other person’s hand and give it a nice and brief shake. This will convey confidence and simultaneously highlight your feminine wiles.

In some cultures, kissing is the standard social form of greeting, where a handshake would seem too cold or impersonal. Kissing has now caught on in the United States with a light kiss on one or both cheeks (the latter is most common in Europe). It is important to be culturally sensitive when attempting to kiss someone socially. There are cultures and people who find social kissing offensive. Sometimes it is better to begin with a handshake and proceed to a kiss if the other person’s body language indicates receptivity.

© 2003 UdefineU, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Moments of Excellence - REST

GET SOME REST

According to medical research, there is a distinct link between the amount of rest a person gets and their emotional well-being. Ever notice that when you're tired and run down, you're also very cranky? That's because rest is an essential part of the mind-body renewal process.

In the Scriptures, we can read where God, Himself, prescribed rest for His people after an especially grueling task. In Joshua, chapter 5, God instructed Joshua to circumcise all the men before they crossed over the river Jordan. This had to be done because that generation of men were those born in the wilderness, and they had not yet properly entered into the Abrahamic covenant via circumcision. Normally, this process is done 8 days after a child is born. However, because of the sin of the previous generation, these men were behind schedule and had to experience this pain as adults. In verse 8, we see that after they were circumcised, they RESTED until they were made whole.

Rest is essential to your mental and physical and emotional well-being. When your body signals to you that its had enough, listen to what your body is telling you! There is nothing so important that getting adequate should be pushed to the bottom of your to-do list.

I know that we all have very hectic schedules. The day-to-day of it all can sometimes cause us to overlook our need to take a break. But take a break we must! Even if it's not sleep, you must get some rest!

Here are some ways that I've found help me to rest. Hopefully, they'll inspire you to do the same:

1. Take a nice, long bubble bath.
   
2. Light your favorite scented candles.
3. Listen to your favorite music CD.
4. Take a relaxing walk by a lake.
5. Go to your local bookstore, grab a cup of coffee, and read your favorite book.
6. Go to the spa and get a mani/pedi.
7. Take a nap.
8. Laugh it up with friends and/or family.
9. Go see an exceptionally good movie or play.
10. Unplug. Turn off the T.V., computer, cell phone for an entire day and just live.

Here's what the psalmist David had to say about rest:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul." - Psalm 23 1:1-3a

Rest leads to restoration, renewal, & refreshing. Now, go get some rest! :)

~Dr. D

Moments of Excellence - RELATIONSHIPS

In the age of Social Networking, Web 2.0, and blogging, the issue of relationships has definitely come to the forefront. Every day more and more social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, & Linkdn pop up on the scene with the lofty goal of connecting like-minded people & business together.

I, being relatively tech-savvy, enjoy these new technological advances as they do make it easier to connect with people who may not only share your vision, but who have the resources to make it happen. Yet, while I laud the positive attributes of these entities, I can't help but wonder about our intimate, personal relationships.

Let me use myself as an example. I am so connected online, that when I went to purchase a new phone, one of the main perks I was looking for was instant Internet access so that I can check my (multiple) email accounts, my Facebook account, and send out the occasional tweet on Twitter. If I take a quick look at the bookmarks that I've saved for instant access, they are: Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, Twitter, Blogger, & Gmail.

And while I (obviously) enjoy being online and using the Internet to expand my brand, I had to take a step back to relish the real, tangible relationships I have right here, right now. My children, my mother, my friends, my loved ones all deserve the same energy that I put into marketing my ministry and business.

I've had to make the concerted effort to divide my time between my "social" network and my "personal" network. The real world consists of those people around me who are there to catch me when I fall. They lift me up when I'm sad. They love me, care for me, cheer me on, and believe in my dreams. I would be remiss if I didn't nurture those relationships with the same ferver and diligence as I do my social, business, & ministry relationships.

What's the point?

The point is simple. Don't overlook the people who are physically present in your life. Your spouse, your children, your family & friends... the ones who are REALLy there for you... they deserve your time and energy. Give it to them. It's like I tell my children, "What you do matters to someone else." Don't spend all your time "networking". Balance your life and love the people around you.

Moments of Excellence - BEAUTY

***WELCOME OUR NEW BEAUTY EDITOR, DAWN ADRIENNE!***

BEAUTY: TAKING IT UP A NOTCH
by Dawn Adrienne

LESSON 1 - Foundation

Foundation is the main product used to to create a fresh, clean "canvas" (your face) by evening the skin's tone and also providing blemish coverage. Foundation is to makeup what yeast is to bread. Without it, everything else is flat and lifeless. Many of you may be opposed to foundation because you might have had a bad experience, you don't know how to find your shade, you don't know how to apply it or how to achieve you desired coverage amount. This lesson will address all these concerns.

Types of foundation
Foundation comes in many different forms. These are foundation's most common forms:

• Liquid (sheer and light coverage)
• Cream (Creme to powder) and Cream Stick (medium to full coverage)
• Mousse
• Sheer tint (very sheer coverage)
• Mineral
  

Liquid:
Ideal for sheer to light coverage. Liquid foundation also adds a light moisturizing effect for dry and combination skin leaving the face with a slightly dewy finish. Liquid makeup is good around the eyes, where you may want a bit more coverage. It can be worn year-round if desired. However, during the winter season it is a great foundation to use due to the drier weather conditions.

You'll often see liquid makeup in waterproof or smudge proof or even 24 hour versions. But these specialized cremes contain oils and waxy ingredients, causing some sensitive wearers slight skin irritation. If you start having problems with breakouts when wearing waterproof makeup, switch to a non-waterproof type and see if it helps. With more people becoming aware of the importance of skin care to their overall health, companies are creating foundations made with organic ingredients such as essential oils, vegetable oils and minerals instead of chemical dyes. Ideal for: Dry and combination skin

Cream
Ideal for medium to full coverage. Creme and stick foundation, being the most dense out of all other foundation forms, is ideal for those who have a lot of blemishes that they want to cover and/or those who want to achieve an extremely flawless look. Creme and stick foundation, can be also be worn year-round if desired. However, during the spring and summer seasons it is a great foundation to use because it holds up longer. It is important that the face be properly and thoroughly moisturized before applying creme or stick foundation, because they both have the tendency to leave the face feeling or looking dry. Ideal for: Normal skin

Mousse
Mousse is ideal for light to medium, buildable coverage. Mousse has a whipped, soft, and light texture making it easier to apply in thin layers than liquid makeup, so you have more control. Mousse can be worn in any season. Ideal for: All skin types especially dry and aging skin.

Sheer Tint (aka Tinted Moisturizer)
Provides very light coverage. Works great when evening the skin tone. Because it is a moisturizer with a hint of foundation all-in-one, you will not have to apply moisturizer and then foundation. Keep in mind that the coverage is light. So unless your skin is very clear, you will need to apply another form of foundation to achieve that flawless look. Ideal for: All skin types.

Mineral
One of the latest foundation makeup types. Can be brushed on with a face powder brush in layers on the skin to achieve the desired coverage. Ideal for: People with allergies or sensitive skin

Beauty Tips:

1. It is important to take note of your skin type and your desired coverage amount when deciding what to buy. For those of you with very dry skin who still want medium to full coverage, I would suggest that you buy a liquid and a cream/cream stick foundation. Apply the liquid foundation first (Which, along with your moisturizer, will hydrate the skin and cover it lightly) Then, add the cream mainly in the "T" zone. If you have some blemishes you want to cover, collect some of the cream foundation product on your finger and dab it over the blemish (es). Continue to to do this until you're satisfied with the blemish coverage. Please make sure that you go along the edges of the circles where you've dabbed your cream and slightly pull the edges outward to eliminate the appearance of circles on your face.
2. Pressed powder IS NOT FOUNDATION!!!!!! Use your pressed powder to set your foundation. Powder on naked skin (meaning without foundation.) will do nothing but remove shine. It does not cover blemishes or even skin tone. And because it has nothing to adhere to, it will not remain in place on the skin.
3. All makeup must be set (meaning applying powder). There is a myth that is going around about cream to powder makeup doesn't require you to set it once applying it. THAT IS INCORRECT!!! Anything liquid in makeup must be set with powder. That goes for all forms except for, of course, mineral makeup. Without a powder set, the foundation will not stay in place. It will collect in the creases of the face, cause you too look very oily and will very easily transfer on to anything that has touched it.
   

"I don't like wearing foundation because....

• ..... the last time I wore it, I broke out really bad."
  

This can be the result of a few of different things. The makeup line might not be right for you. Different lines have different compounds to their makeup. Although the basic product compound is the same, their could be a few ingredients added to that specific line's product that causes your skin to react. It is important to know if you have any skin allergies. If you are allergic to SPF (Which is in a lot of makeup products), wearing a foundation that has SPF in it will cause your skin to react.

It even can be the combination of products in the foundation and your skin care products that are causing your skin's adverse reaction. If the ingredients in the skin care products and the foundation do not cohere, your skin may react. At this point, it is up to you whether to find a new skin care product or to change the makeup line. In other cases, it may well be the type of foundation you are using. Your skin may do well with a different type of foundation. In any event, if your skin breaks out from the foundation you're using, try a different type first, before moving to another brand.

• ...I never get the shade that fits me."

Finding your shade can be a tedious job and sometimes a nearly impossible one, with all the changes in the seasons, age, etc. One day you'll look one way, another, you'll look the next. For some women, their skin tone is uneven; certain areas on the face are darker than others. In the case of not being able to find your right shade, here are a few things to remember. Foundation has to be tested before purchased. A lot of people, because they don't want to spend a lot of money on makeup, will go to the Pharmacy to pick their foundation. And they get upset when they open it up and use it only to find that it's not the right shade. Very rarely will you find ONE pre-packaged product that fits your shade PERFECTLY. It's best to go to the a makeup store or department store makeup counter and be serviced by the professionals there. Sure, you may have to spend more money there than in the drug store. But, you will feel more confident in your purchase and will be a satisfied customer.

• ...I don't know how to apply it right to get the coverage I need."
  

If you are using a liquid foundation, I have found that it is best applied by using a brush and then using a makeup sponge in a blotting motion all over the face to eliminate the appearance of lines on the face. With the foundation brush, use "painter's strokes" all over the face, check, ears, and very little on the neck. Make sure that the foundation is even all over before proceeding to blot the makeup with the makeup sponge. Once you are satisfied with the outcome, proceed on.

If you are using a cream, mousse or sheer tint, I have found that it is best applied by using your fingers. Using your fingers to apply it allows you more control of the product and gives you a better ability to build the coverage as needed or desired. Using your middle and ring fingers, collect your foundation and with "quick and short, pull and drag" motions, blend it into the face, chin, ears, and very light on the neck. Build until you're satisfied with the coverage. Remember, less is more. It's easier to add more product than take off. So go easy on your foundation.

*** Dawn Adrienne is a licensed makeup artist, a costume and wardrobe stylist, an image consultant out of the Temple Hills, MD area. Contact her for an appointment today at (301) 523-0369 or at myspace.com/shessobeautiful.

WOMAN2WOMAN CONFERENCE 2009

Dr. Dionne S. Wood, in conjunction with DDLI & LME, announce the 1st Annual Woman2Woman Conference to be held October 16-17, 2009 at the lovely Crystal City Marriott Hotel in Arlington, VA.

Special guest speakers:

Elder Vivian Swinson - CEO, Deborah Generation Ministries
Mrs. Tishema Miller - Mrs. Christian United States 2009
Pastor Azizah Morrison - Founder, The King's Daughter Summit
Rev. Alicia Cooper - Co-founder, Image On The Rise
Evangelist Nichelle Early - CEO/Founder, PreachingWoman.com

For more information, visit http://woman2womanconference.eventbrite.com
For VENDOR information, email w2wconference@gmail.com

Register today!!!

ANNOUNCING "THE PINK DIAMOND STANDARD: A GUIDE TO EXCELLENCE FOR CHRISTIAN WOMEN"!

ANNOUNCING "THE PINK DIAMOND STANDARD: A GUIDE TO EXCELLENCE FOR CHRISTIAN WOMEN!"

The official e-handbook for the Daughters of Destiny Leadership Institute will be available on June 1! Only $10! Pre-Order your copy today by sending an an email to thepinkdiamondstandard@gma

il.com.