Moments of Excellence - DINING ETIQUETTE (Pt. 2)

TABLE COMPORTMENT

SEATING/PLACEMENT
Depending on the formality of the event, there may or may not be place cards on the table. The home is the woman’s domain, and the hostess will point all guests to their appropriate seats. The proper protocol is for the hostess to sit at the end of the table closest to the kitchen. If she is married, her husband, the host, sits at the opposite end. The male guest of honor sits to the right of the hostess and he sits her. The female guest of honor sits to the right of the host and is seated by him.

No one sits down until the hostess sits down. Proper etiquette is for the man to seat the woman to his right by pulling her chair out. If he is surrounded by two women, he first helps the woman to his right and then the woman to his immediate left. Women should wait for this gesture on the part of the men.

NAPKINS
When the hostess opens her napkin, the guests follow suit.

EATING/GESTURING
Never begin eating until all toasting has concluded and the hostess begins to eat. Also, it is important to wait until everyone is served before beginning to eat. The only exception is if the hostess tells you to begin because your food will get cold while the others wait to be served.

You must, during the course of the dinner, speak to the two people on either side of you in addition to the rest of the group. Please refrain from any and all unusual sounds that one may make unconsciously while drinking and/or chewing, including inadvertently clanking on the plate with your implements. Hands should be kept away from the face and from touching or twisting the hair. Your elbows should always be off the table.

If during the course of the meal you need to excuse yourself to go to the restroom, gently take your napkin and fold it loosely on the left side of your plate or place it on your chair. Push your chair under the table until you return. The man seated next to a woman should get up out of deference when she leaves the table and again when she returns.

AFTER DINNER
At the conclusion of the meal, the hostess will rest her napkin on the table to her left. This is a sign for all the guests that the meal is over. Never push the plate away from you when you are finished eating. Once the hostess gestures to get up, everyone else seated at the table must do the same. Get up from the table and push the chair under the table.

After an appropriate amount of time has passed (this will vary from situation to situation), look to the other guests and the hosts for a natural conclusion to the evening so you do not wear out your welcome. Say your goodbyes and express your gratitude as you depart.

THANK YOU NOTES
Send a ‘thank you’ note within 48 hours. At the very least, call your hostess to say thank you.